Think you're funny? Think you're not? The MQ needs YOU!
Membership is open to students of all campuses at UCSD. Do you like to write? Design? Photoshop images of celebrities and/or UCSD chancellors into hilarious and often morally comprising situations? Sit around and make jokes at the expense of others? Can you drag yourself to our offices? Are breathing and/or sentient? You're hired!
If you:
- Write comedy or want to learn
- Know how to use Photoshop or want to learn
- Know how to use InDesign or want to learn
- Know web design or want to learn
- Copy edit or want to learn
- Are a great lover or want to learn
- Still have the ability to laugh
- Like to meet new people and come have crazy fun parties with free food and FUCK PLEASE JUST COME TO OUR PARTIES
Get newspaper/leadership experience! We are willing to teach you for free. Don't be intimidated: crafting a fine newspaper is easier than it looks.
E-mail us at editor[at]themq[dot]com or come to our meetings every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Half Dome in Muir. If you don't know where it is it is here. See you there!
NEWS
IN BRIEF
Greek Economy Collapses Due to Natty Ice Shortage
The Greek economy hit the final stretch of its catastrophic decent into disgrace today as Bromissioner of Finance Chip Morgenthal stated during an official press conference, “Duuuude, who took the last fucking brewskie?” With an economic state that analysts have described as a gyroscopic downward spiral, experts have been highly concerned about the future of Greece. Initial warning signs belied a dire state of affairs, and the greatest blow came with the permanent withdrawal of all female European exchange students from Greek life. Local Pike member Bruce Danville admitted to reporters, “Those Eurobabes were all that kept me going most days, but they all left once they found out that all the booze we had left was our secret stash of Natty Light.” He continued, “Now that’s gone too, and I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I guess it’s time to go pack my bag of big black dildos.”
Top Ten
Things That Came Too Soon
- Your father
- Jokes about Jesus
- Responsibility
- Me, while watching the “Twilight” sequel
- Demise of Barack Obama … oops! Shh!
- My freshman 15
- Expiration date on those condoms
- Women’s rights
- The looming shadow of death
- Gary Coleman jokes
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