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Volume XVI Issue VIII June 2, 2010 Unable to stop spilling our precious crude.
celeb
“God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers.” — Jeff Goldblum, Louisiana resident
UC SAN DIEGO
South Korea Readies Troops North Korea rumored to possess Carrier technology.
Graduates Don’t Know What the Fuck “I’m entering the real world; my life is going to change for the better.”

Invisible Leggings Enter Wardrobes of Women With Taste

Shirt by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo, sunglasses by Dior, and leggings by Nature. Shirt by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo, sunglasses by Dior, and leggings by Nature. - photo by Annie Dimitras
Jessi Carr
Staff Writer

Runways all over Summer New York Fashion Week have been flooded with the hottest new trend in summer wear: invisible leggings.

Models from top design houses Chanel, Dior and Jean Paul Gaultier sported the trend, and the fashion was echoed by numerous other up-and-coming designers. The leggings were used to accessorize a diverse array of styles, ranging from the classic little black dress to the trendy tunic, with the idea of “less is more” as the common factor amongst them all. While the press couldn’t get enough of this hip new style, the surprisingly-not-dead Donatella Versace summed it up best: “It’s summer, it’s sheer, it’s chic, it’s fabulous!”

This is the next natural step in the evolution of leggings, which have been on the rise amongst the college crowd ever since the mid-2000s. What first started as a sensible way to wear skirts and dresses in the winter time quickly morphed into a war of neon and spandex-clad fashionistas who expanded the trend to include legging’s cousins: tights and legwarmers.

How much will this latest trend set you back? Gucci prices theirs at $300 a pair, while Yves St. Laurent offers both shaved leg and stubbly leg varieties for about $275 each. However, for the financially challenged college student, American Apparel, the Mecca for all legging-wearing hipsters, is offering their own for only $19.

Need some ideas on how to work this latest fad? Remeber the possibilities are nearly endless: This versatile summer look can easily be worn from a fun day at the beach to a flirty night out. Simply pick out your favorite shirt-dress (remember: the shorter the better), cinch a braided belt around your waist, put on your brand-new leggings, and accessorize with some jeweled flats, chunky jewelry, and oversized sunglasses. And remember, with this look it’s best to wear a tiny thong, or better yet, nothing at all. Panty lines are just so trashy.

NEWS
IN BRIEF

Toxic Waste Found to Contain BPA

In a groundbreaking study released Monday, National Institute of Health discovered the presence of Bisphenol A in toxic waste. They expect that this discovery will prove invaluable to the “millions of Americans consuming toxic waste on a regular basis.”

The discovery has incurred the wrath of health-conscious citizens who worry about the effects of the BPA they have already encountered. “I think it’s irresponsible of the government to pretend that toxic waste didn’t have all these harmful side effects,” nutritionist Heather Jamison said. “How do they expect us to make educated decisions when we aren’t informed of these trace amounts of dubiously dangerous chemicals?”

Recent tests suggest that consumption of the tainted toxic waste may render women barren. This news, however, has not dissuaded thousands of young adults from descending into the oily green-brown pools en masse.

“Free birth control!” Anna Frenson screamed, licking sludge from between her fingers. “Toxic waste never tasted so good.”

Top Ten

Similarities Between Your New Boyfriend and Elena Kagan

  1. Replacing an older man
  2. Might be gay
  3. Doesn’t know how to please anyone
  4. Couldn’t get into Yale
  5. Always tries to put it in your butt
  6. Grandma thinks you can do better
  7. Appointed by Barack Obama
  8. Regularly receives a tongue-lashing from both sides of the aisle
  9. Spent last year soliciting, generally
  10. Was pro-Bush, now will take whatever they can get

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