Porn Star Caught Watching C-SPAN on Set
“Clinton’s not the only one who can mix sex with politics,” posts this porn star. - photo by Bora Buyktimkin
Alex Ahmed
Porn studio Vivid Entertainment lost thousands of supporters last week when one of their leading actresses was caught watching live footage from Congress during the filming of their hit adult series, “Fantastic 4-Play,” a scandal that fans have decried as “completely unsexy.”
The culprit, 26-year-old Diamond Angelina, reportedly took a break from performing cunnilingus on fellow actress Jessie Jaymes because she reported her “mouth was tired” and ducked into her dressing room. Crewmembers grew suspicious when they heard loud, unfamiliar noises coming from inside.
“I just heard old people yelling ‘Aye!’ over and over again,” said cameraman Jason Del Rosario. “I thought, oh, okay, she must be watching pirate porn.”
“Oh, God, was I wrong,” he added, disgusted.
Angelina was exposed when Jessie Jaymes came banging on her door, demanding she finish the cunnilingus. “I knew something smelled fishy,” she said. “And it wasn’t just my woman parts.”
When she busted into Angelina’s room, a scream echoed throughout the studio, and director Mike Steel ran to find Angelina hurriedly closing her laptop, and Jaymes on the floor, in tears.
Steel was then shocked to find what was later confirmed to be C-SPAN coverage of a House of Representatives voting session. “It was awful,” said the director. “I almost learned something.”
The porn studio’s public relations committee later released a statement condemning the actress for her “lapse in judgment.”
“The people must know that Diamond Angelina’s actions do not at all represent the studio as a whole,” said a studio spokesperson. “As America’s leading provider of smut, we assure you that we and those we employ would never do anything so conducive to shrinkage.”
“Needless to say, the perpetrator has been relieved of employment,” added the spokesperson. “Our viewers are now encouraged to relieve themselves using any one of our other fine offerings.”
In another attempt to placate the public, Vivid has introduced a new series called “Fuck Me Across the Aisle” that intends to reduce the negative stigma attached to having sex with political figures who are not Sarah Palin. This fall, they will also debut the Halloween costumes “Sexy Senator” and “Sexy Sotomayor.”
