NEWS
IN BRIEF
Gary Coleman’s Life Cut Short
Former child star and currently child-sized man Gary Coleman was pronounced dead last week after sustaining a brain injury. Coleman, 42, was best known for his role as Arnold Jackson on the show “Diff’rent Strokes” and for frequently coming up short on cash.
Fans around the world seemed to have trouble comprehending the news, as upon receiving word of his death, many can only respond with the heartbroken phrase, “Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout?”
Others continue to mercilessly mock the unwitting funnyman, whose death at a tragically young age followed a heartbreaking life that will provide fodder for bad jokes for years to come.
Memorial services will be held in Las Vegas’ Little White Chapel this Friday. In lieu of flowers, Coleman’s family has requested donations be made to repay his “quick and easy” loans at Cashcall.com.
Top Ten
Similarities Between Your New Boyfriend and Elena Kagan
- Replacing an older man
- Might be gay
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- Couldn’t get into Yale
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- Appointed by Barack Obama
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- Spent last year soliciting, generally
- Was pro-Bush, now will take whatever they can get
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