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Volume XVI Issue VIII June 2, 2010 Unable to stop spilling our precious crude.
celeb
“God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers.” — Jeff Goldblum, Louisiana resident
UC SAN DIEGO
South Korea Readies Troops North Korea rumored to possess Carrier technology.
Graduates Don’t Know What the Fuck “I’m entering the real world; my life is going to change for the better.”

About theMQ

Our meetings are every Tuesday evening at 6:00 pm. They're set in lovely John Muir College, in the Half Dome Lounge. Need to know where Half Dome is? We've got you covered.

The MQ, formerly known as the Muir Quarterly, is the official college newspaper of Muir College at the University of California, San Diego. We don't publish for Muir College alone, however. We're growing rapidly, currently publishing more than twice per quarter and distributing to the whole of the UCSD campus. Our goal is to entertain, amuse, and inform our fellow students, just not necessarily in that order. The MQ is run by students from all six of the UCSD colleges, not just Muir. Our target audience is the entire UCSD student body.

The MQ is funded by the Muir College Office of the Dean, the Muir College Parent's Fund, Muir College Council, Muir Residential Life, and our advertisers. We have also received a generous donation from the John Denver Memorial Fund.

We're always looking to expand our staff, welcoming writers, editors, artists, layout staff, graphic designers, photographers, web staff, and humans. Anyone who is interested in The MQ is welcome to join, with no prior experience necessary.

The only commitment we do ask for is that you attend our weekly meetings. It's at these meetings where we, in theory, make assignments and plan the issues. Of course, a fairly large portion of every meeting is nothing more than going off on amusing tangents whilst socializing. In the end, we're just trying to have some fun.

Copyright Information

The Muir Quarterly®, heretofore referred to as The MQ®, is a satirical newspaper intended to be read solely for entertainment purposes. All names used within any associated content are entirely fictional, with the exception of satirization. Some content may be unsuitable for children; reader supervision is actively encouraged in all applicable cases.

All materials found on this website © fully inclusive of graphics, text, and all other associated files © is Copyright © 2004 - Present by The MQ. The aforementioned materials © excepting materials provided explicitly for user download © may not be reprinted, retransmitted, or reproduced in whole or in part without the written consent of the Editorial Board of The MQ. If you wish to reprint, retransmit, or reproduce any of these materials, please contact The MQ for permission. The user retains the right, however, to transmit the URL of any of these web pages without our explicit permission, where a web page is defined as a full presentation seen within the client-side web browser. Individual elements © inclusive of graphics, text, and all other associated files © may not be linked to individually.

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Any questions or inquiries regarding these policies can be emailed to editor [at] themq [dot] com.

NEWS
IN BRIEF

Gary Coleman’s Life Cut Short

Former child star and currently child-sized man Gary Coleman was pronounced dead last week after sustaining a brain injury. Coleman, 42, was best known for his role as Arnold Jackson on the show “Diff’rent Strokes” and for frequently coming up short on cash.

Fans around the world seemed to have trouble comprehending the news, as upon receiving word of his death, many can only respond with the heartbroken phrase, “Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout?”

Others continue to mercilessly mock the unwitting funnyman, whose death at a tragically young age followed a heartbreaking life that will provide fodder for bad jokes for years to come.

Memorial services will be held in Las Vegas’ Little White Chapel this Friday. In lieu of flowers, Coleman’s family has requested donations be made to repay his “quick and easy” loans at Cashcall.com.

Top Fifteen

Worst Times to Get Iced

  1. At an AA meeting
  2. While pregnant
  3. At a DUI checkpoint
  4. When you don’t have an ice on you
  5. Instead of getting knighted
  6. At your custody hearing
  7. During dialysis
  8. After losing a leg
  9. While skydiving
  10. On the Titanic
  11. While giving the inaugural address
  12. In front of your bros
  13. At a job interview
  14. Last minute of the Super Bowl
  15. Right before you orgasm

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